Hooked on Phonics

I am a sucker for articulate people. There is nothing better in my world than a person who can write a well-written sentence that is artfully and grammatically mastered to portray a message in a clear and concise way. Believe me, it is a big thing to ask because in my line of work, I see so many things the reflect the opposite of this.

I am also a sucker for great song lyrics. Right now, I'm listening to Fergie's "The Dutchess" album and I started to think about the lyrics. Honestly, I don't think they are half bad. Whether or not the album reflects her personal life and the turmoil it contains is another topic altogether, but I think Fergie has some profound things going on in her music.

A lot of people I talk to think Fergie is obnoxious or good for dancing, but they hate her voice, sound, etc. I'm not a fan of the way a lot of her singing seems to come from her nasal cavity, but I do appreciate the depths of her lyrics. For example, "Losing my Ground". Ok, how about, for the sake of argument, we use that song "Glamorous"?

Regardless how you feel about Fergie, I think this song is really good. Sure, there are a lot of things in her song that make absolutely no sense (i.e. "flouncy, flouncy") but I appreciate her giving hope to people who are struggling and trying to accomplish their dreams.

If nothing else, maybe parents can appreciate the fact that with their children listening to songs like this one, they are at least learning how to properly spell "g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s".

"Glamorous"
(feat. Ludacris)

If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home
You say: If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

[B-Section:]
We flying the first class
Up in the sky
Poppin' champagne
Livin' the life
In the fast lane
And I wont change
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

[chorus:]
The glamorous,
The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

[Verse:]
Wear them gold and diamonds rings
All them things don't mean a thing
Chaperons and limousines
Shopping for expensive things
I be on the movie screens
Magazines and bougie scenes
I'm not clean, I'm not pristine
I'm no queen, I'm no machine
I still go to Taco Bell
Drive through, raw as hell
I don't care, I'm still real
No matter how many records I sell
After the show or after the Grammies
I like to go cool out with the family
Sippin', reminiscing on days when I had a Mustang
And now I'm in...

[B-section then chorus]

[Ludacris:]
I'm talking Champagne wishes, caviar dreams
You deserve nothing but all the finer things
Now this whole world has no clue what to do with us
I've got enough money in the bank for the two of us
Plus I gotta keep enough lettuce
To support your shoe fetish
Lifestyles so rich and famous
Robin Leach will get jealous
Half a million for the stones
Taking trips from here to Rome
So If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

[B-section + chorus x2]

[Verse:]
I got problems up to here
I've got people in my ear
Telling me these crazy things
That I don't want to know (fuck y'all)
I've got money in the bank
And I'd really like to thank
All the fans, I'd like to thank
Thank you really though
Cause I remember yesterday
When I dreamt about the days
When I'd rock on MTV, that be really dope
Damn, It's been a long road
And the industry is cold
I'm glad my daddy told me so, he let his daughter know. [x3]

"Amoje" is gangsta short for "Amore"

I have this friend who is very much like me--a sarcastic, witty, BBW. The only thing is that sometimes she is sarcastic and mixes an ounce of truth in her statements. For example, if she said to you, "I think bunnies are the most amazing creatiures to eat even though they are not very cute." At the end of the week, she would tell you that she is sad no one has bought her a bunny.

There was a sort of mix-up like this a while ago, and I have been fighting my way out of incredibly awkward situations between myself and the guy she likes. This is difficult since I am already awkward around guys! Can you see my predicament here? Awkward girl trying to make an awkward situation not awkward. That does not work.

However, I still want to make my friend happy. What would make her happy? A boyfriend.

Naturally, I am inclined to believe that I deserve a boyfriend more than anyone else I know...but I would never admit this because it just sounds desperate. So recently, my friend mentioned wanting a boyfriend and I asked if she wanted me to try setting them up on a date. Pretty much a very out-on-a-limb kind of thing to do, right? Because how much more awkward would that be, approacing this guy like, "So I know I sent you an email saying she wasn't interested in you as anything but a friend, but that is the thing I lied about saying she doesn't gush over you every day. Truth is, she is enamored with you and I want you to take her out on a date for Christmas."

I wish people could be mind readers when it comes to relationships...but that would mean the few guys I have been interested in would know it.