"If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed...always remember that YOU were once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions."
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
"We'll be friends until we're old and senile. Then we'll be new friends!"
"I don't care if you lick windows, take the special bus, or occasionally pee on yourself...you have in there, sunshine, you're friggin' special!"
My favorite, though, is from a paper I read at work. I wrote it down verbatim because it was just THAT good:
"I attract a lot of perverted men whom tend to ask if I am a stripper. The answer is no, and little do they know that I have a passion for dance, drastic makeup, heels, and tattoos."
Believe it or not, this last quote was embedded in the intro of a paper about Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a Dream" speech.
In his fight for equality for all, do you think he was considering the future of exotic dancers?
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