I am really happy to be back in school. I like to learn and I'm really excited about this whole Senior year thing. I still don't think I have really learned anything, but it's ok. I have grown these past four years, and I think that's the reason I am really pushing myself this last year.
I have a bunch of goals. They're realistic, too, which is really going to help me out as far as accomplishing things goes.
For one, I have the ever-remaining goal to pay off my debt. Thankfully, over the summer I was able to come up with a really fool proof plan for savings, so not only am I saving up for a new car, but also putting away money for a rainy day...because I know it's going to be raining after I get out of school. My credit card has been paid off for the last month, and it's at a stable, manageable $25 balance that I am pretty ecstatic about. I use it only to pay for my haircare (I buy these online because it's cheaper) and my gym membership.
Speaking of my gym membership, the other ever-remaining goal of getting in shape is on the brink of becoming something I will actively pursue. I think I've written before that I've already established a healthy eating routine, so I have the diet part down to a great science. Coming from an English major, that's probably not saying much, but at least I understand how it works: eat fruits, veggies, meat, and dairy. Basically, I figured that by the time I make it through the food pyramid, it's time to sleep and that works very well for me.
Another goal I have is to get my English Honor Society chapter up and running. We already have an event going on, we just have to meet and figure out where to host it. Hmm. I need people to do my bidding.
I only have one downer about this new year. I thought I had really grown and become more comfortable with talking to people I don't know, but in the classes I had yesterday, I was still the same person who didn't try to talk with people, didn't reach out and connect and everything else I've been doing the past three years. Don't get me wrong--I'm much more social than I've ever been, but I'm still not as actively friendly as I would like to be. I think I have this road block in my mind that makes me think that if I approach someone just to be nice and say hello, they're going to think Oh my gosh, why is this fat girl talking to me? I can't be seen with her. She needs to leave. What does she want from me?
Being thick is hard in a place like Orange County, but being a thick person trying to be friendly is even more difficult because no one wants to associate with the thick people. Most people who do end up doing it out of pity, and that's ridiculous.
Another goal I have is to get a guy to touch my hair. You have no idea how amazing my hair feels and I am just dying to be walking around campus one day and get yanked back by a guy who has his palm against the back of my scalp, running his fingers through the long thick mass of chocolate waves that is my hair. This goal may be easier to accomplish if I got my perfume back. New goal acquired.
I'm going to talk about my new room mates now.
Actually, I'm first going to address my feelings about having new room mates. Again.
I am pretty upset about having another set of new people to live with. In case I've never addressed it before, I've had new room mates almost every semester. Freshman year, I changed room mates in the middle of the year. Sophomore year I had the same girls all year through. Junior year, I had one girl the same and two other new ones, and the next semester brought two new girls, and I fell in love with living with them. Now, I have two new room mates and I'm planning and scheming how to get one of my past room mates from my second semester of Junior year to take the place of one of the girls I'm currently living with. It's probably not going to happen, but I really wish it would.
The issue I have with having 12 different room mates in four years is that I thought I was easy to live with. I'm a really laid-back person and not a lot gets to me. Maybe I need to re-evaluate myself because clearly I am not, given my history with living with people. I keep thinking, somewhere in the back of my head, do I have commitment issues? How am I going to adapt later down the road when I have a lease to deal with? Am I unbearable to live with, or am I ridiculously picky?
I can see where I am ridiculously picky, but I don't think I am unbearable to live with. I don't know. It's just something I am scared to find out about myself. I mean, how could I lie to myself all these years and find out all of a sudden that I am an impossible room mate? I honestly can't say that I am. I think I am fun to live with, easy-going, and keep to myself as much as the others around me do.
Anyway, the two new girls I'm living with are nice. We're all getting along quite well, so I am really grateful for that. God knows it could've been a disaster. God knows it almost was a disaster because I was about to go all kinds of crazy since they threw a new girl in on us at the last minute. I wanted to bust a cap like nobody's business! Breathing exercises really work well though, and it helps that I found out while I was driving to school.
I am really bored with writing about all this now.
Suffice to say, I am looking forward to a hectic, crazy, tight schedule.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Colleges in PA: http://www.collegescolleges.com/states/Pennsylvania.htm
Jobs for Socs majors: Sociology majors who are interested in organizational theory gravitate toward organizational planning, development, and training. Those who study the sociology of work and occupations may pursue careers in human resources management (personnel) and industrial relations. Students who especially enjoy research design, statistics, and data analysis seek positions in marketing, public relations, and organizational research. Courses in economic and political sociology, cultural diversity, racial and ethnic relations, and social conflict can lead to positions in international business.
Shopping in PA (no sales tax on clothes!)
http://www.shoppinginpa.com/shoppinginpa/TalkShop.do
Jobs for Socs majors: Sociology majors who are interested in organizational theory gravitate toward organizational planning, development, and training. Those who study the sociology of work and occupations may pursue careers in human resources management (personnel) and industrial relations. Students who especially enjoy research design, statistics, and data analysis seek positions in marketing, public relations, and organizational research. Courses in economic and political sociology, cultural diversity, racial and ethnic relations, and social conflict can lead to positions in international business.
Skills of Successful Sociology Majors
- Ability to recognize trends and patterns. Sociologists must develop a keen eye for detail and a gift for spotting relationships between pieces of information. By cultivating patterns from otherwise abstract data, sociologists can break through puzzling roadblocks during research assignments.
Following these trails can lead to important discoveries and understandings for sociologists throughout their careers. To grow their talent for uncovering these relationships, many sociology programs expose students to new courses in game theory and traditional classes in art. Viewing data from unusual points of view not only breaks up the monotony of data analysis, but it usually results in the recognition of important patterns. - Ability to create concise reports and essays. Whether reporting to superiors on the results of research or developing new funding proposals, sociologists rely frequently on their ability to write effective reports. Sociology students learn how to modulate their writing for different audiences. When preparing reports for peers and colleagues, they can use industry shorthand and insider terminology to keep memos and files brief. When writing external reports for funding agencies, or politicians, or the media, they translate that jargon into easily digestible nuggets of information.
- Strong critical thinking skills. Sociology degree programs challenge students to build their analytical skills through a series of increasingly challenging assignments over the course of their studies. Sociology majors spend time in introductory courses examining the techniques that professionals use to investigate theories. As they move through intermediate and advanced courses, they start to use those techniques on their own research projects. By the time they near graduation, sociology majors use their keen critical thinking skills to solve problems and identify opportunities in their own research.
- Oral presentation skills. In addition to powerful writing skills, sociology majors must develop the ability to speak comfortably and clearly in front of clouds. This skill particularly benefits students who intend to pursue careers in academia. Meanwhile, sociology professionals who work in the private sector also utilize this skill when presenting information to government agencies, funding panels, or audiences at professional conferences.
- Interpersonal communications skills. Regardless of their career paths, sociology majors will rely on strong person-to-person communications skills throughout their working lives. Students learn early in their degree programs to conduct effective interviews with key subjects. In addition, sociologists often work on teams where long hours and tight deadlines can lead to friction between colleagues. Quality sociology degree programs prepare students for future challenges by creating realistic scenarios in which students can improve their interpersonal communications.
- Develop skills in modern data and analysis technology. As with many other careers, modern technology and computers have revolutionized sociology. During the course of their degree programs, students learn to manipulate data using complex pieces of software and hardware. By running research data through sophisticated tools, sociology professionals can spot trends sooner and generate results faster.
- Grant writing skills. Many sociologists must compete for funding from government agencies, from private funders, and from academic boards. Skilled professionals learn to apply their strong writing skills to create attractive grant applications. By stating clear goals and framing up outcomes that advance the agendas or the missions of funding bodies, sociologists can collect vital funds that allow them to continue making breakthroughs in research and understanding of human interaction.
- Research skills. Sociology majors learn to use all of the resources at their disposal to chase down leads and build sets of information for analysis. Many sociology degree programs introduce students to the tricks of efficient library research early in their academic careers. Bolstered by fast searches on the Internet, sociology majors learn to digest catalogued findings for use in their original research projects. By the time they graduate, students learn to conduct personal interviews and mass surveys in order to generate their own sets of raw data for analysis.
- Management skills. Many professional sociologists rely on the help of support personnel and other team members to conduct research and to move projects forward. During their degree programs, students learn to blend the best practices from the business world with the traditions of research professionals. By the time students earn their sociology degrees, they gain the talent to motivate the different kinds of specialists that will help them accomplish major breakthroughs during their careers.
- Planning and organizational skills. Because most sociologists work on time-sensitive projects, students learn how to plan and arrange their tasks to save time and to work as efficiently as possible. Many colleges and universities provide introductory courses in time management and task coordination as part of their core programs. These skills reap huge rewards later in a student's career, when they must marshal scarce resources under tight deadlines.
Trends for Sociology Careers
Because of the breadth of study involved in obtaining a sociology degree, career choices are diverse. Graduates holding a degree in sociology often find employment as researchers, consultants, or administrators for federal, state, and local governments. A sociologist may also find employment in the private sector with educational institutions and businesses.
Although competition for academic jobs remains fierce, many businesses and government agencies have expanded the roles that sociology professionals play in their organizations. Businesses invest more heavily than ever before in understanding their customers' wants and needs. Government departments and political campaigns also want to know everything they can about their constituents. Therefore, experts at the United States Department of Labor expect the job demand for sociologists to grow steadily over the next ten years.
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Shopping in PA (no sales tax on clothes!)
http://www.shoppinginpa.com/shoppinginpa/TalkShop.do
Monday, July 28, 2008
"Grahm, it's not rocket launching!"
Today, I got to have lunch with a woman who has worked at Tyndale for about 13 years in the Editorial department. She talked to me about my proof reading test because...sigh...I failed it like a dumbass...but she just went over it with me. I was really surprised how much she and I had in common. It was like seeing a nicer version of myself in 20 years or something. The funny thing is that I only get an hour lunch break every day. We went to get lunch at 1:00, and I got back to my cubicle at 3:30.
It was awesome.
I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of working at Tyndale at all. I mean, I would miss my friends and family in California, but I really think I could work well at Tyndale. I really like the company and they publish quality books, but a part of me does wonder if there couldn't be more out there for me.
I was doing some research on publishing and editors and I began to entertain the notion of becoming an agent. I think I can recognize good writing when I see it, but I think I am too biased for the kinds of subject matter and in-your-face kind of topics that I wouldn't have a great amount of authors to work with--I would need a diverse portfolio. I think I would make a good agent...the only company that I would be interested in would be Zachary Shuster Harmsworth, but they hire people from like, Harvard, Oxford, Yale, Columbia, etc. There is no way Vanguard is on the same kind of claibar as those school, evident in the fact I'm not sure if I spelt "Columbia" and "calibar" properly.
Being an agent would be fun though. If not that, I would be interested in working as an Acquisitions Editor...I know that I want to have an impact on the content that would be published since I think the Christian populace needs to be exposed to more "racy" and unconventional ideas. I believe that yes, we are a part of this world and not of it, but I think we ought to better understand it. I really love working with content though. That's my thing. I think I would be great in any publishing house I go to, but I really like the family-owned aspect of Tyndale.
I think it is safe to say that I will not be in California for the rest of my life, and I will move to bigger and better things. I would be happy moving to Illinois, or I can deal (quite well) being in Michigan (Zondervan). I don't know how I would feel working for huge corporate places though. I really love doing the family-run thing, but what's great about Tyndale's family-thing, is they are still a big company. I mean, the #3 Christian publishing house--that's pretty damn good.
Ugh.
Note to self: remember you have to finish college first.
It was awesome.
I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of working at Tyndale at all. I mean, I would miss my friends and family in California, but I really think I could work well at Tyndale. I really like the company and they publish quality books, but a part of me does wonder if there couldn't be more out there for me.
I was doing some research on publishing and editors and I began to entertain the notion of becoming an agent. I think I can recognize good writing when I see it, but I think I am too biased for the kinds of subject matter and in-your-face kind of topics that I wouldn't have a great amount of authors to work with--I would need a diverse portfolio. I think I would make a good agent...the only company that I would be interested in would be Zachary Shuster Harmsworth, but they hire people from like, Harvard, Oxford, Yale, Columbia, etc. There is no way Vanguard is on the same kind of claibar as those school, evident in the fact I'm not sure if I spelt "Columbia" and "calibar" properly.
Being an agent would be fun though. If not that, I would be interested in working as an Acquisitions Editor...I know that I want to have an impact on the content that would be published since I think the Christian populace needs to be exposed to more "racy" and unconventional ideas. I believe that yes, we are a part of this world and not of it, but I think we ought to better understand it. I really love working with content though. That's my thing. I think I would be great in any publishing house I go to, but I really like the family-owned aspect of Tyndale.
I think it is safe to say that I will not be in California for the rest of my life, and I will move to bigger and better things. I would be happy moving to Illinois, or I can deal (quite well) being in Michigan (Zondervan). I don't know how I would feel working for huge corporate places though. I really love doing the family-run thing, but what's great about Tyndale's family-thing, is they are still a big company. I mean, the #3 Christian publishing house--that's pretty damn good.
Ugh.
Note to self: remember you have to finish college first.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
July, July, oh those Julies.
I like reading through my blogs. Yes, I am vain. I don't make any excuses for it. The funny thing about my vanity, is that I can't even think of something I have to be vain about! If someone asked me (which I'm glad no one has...) what my favorite feature of my anatomy is, I would be stumped. It's a surefire way to get me to stop talking.
"What's your favorite feature of your body?"
*insert crickets chirping*
Normally, the first answer would be my hair. However, my hair and I have been at odds lately. Sometimes I like how the long waves tumble down my back, the curls being ever so slightly mussled and unruly. Other times, I wish the dry corpse excuse of hair would take its amber waves that look like grain and hit the road! I seek soft, loose hair that is my natural color.
Note to self: don't let friends dye your hair anymore.
When I got a haircut before coming out here to Illinois (say that with a French accent...much more fun), I couldn't get over how ama-za-zing my hair felt. It was the perfect silky smooth texture I have been craving, and I'm really not sure if it is the straightener my stylist used or the product. So, I'll have to surrender more money to have her do my hair again and buy everything she uses on me. Next time though, I'll ask her to not straighten my hair. I'm sure that'll save me some product, and I don't ever straighten my hair. Talk about time consuming!
I'm big on saving time, actually. I also have a knack for wasting it. I don't know anyone who would dispute this fact.
Changing subjects, just because I got an email that reminded me of it...
There is another intern here (call him 5.0) who cracks me up. Not so much lately, but when I first emailed him, I couldn't stop laughing. 5.0 is a self-proclaimed poet--stop snickering, it gets better. I would email him the most mundane things for the sole purpose of seeing how ridiculous his response would be.
Did you know I do things for a reaction? That is truly my only hidden agenda, and now it's not even hidden. I love reactions and the element of surprise.
So anyway, I would sent out an email to invite the 'terns for a round of Phase 10 because that's the only game I brought with me, and...there's no better way to bond with strangers than over a semi-competetive game of cards, right? My email was simple:
"Hi, [5.0] :)
I hope you’re adjusting well to your job!
Mondays seem to be Phase 10 day for interns at lunch, so would you like to join us today at 1:00 in the caf?
~Stephanie"
His response:
"As much as I would love to me graced by my fellow interns’ company this afternoon, and engage in grand competition over a midday meal, I do, alas, have a meeting at that time. Hopefully, the fates shall smile down upon me, and I will be able to meet you good people in the very near future."
My response was much less eloquent.
Another time, I sent out an email because...well, this is what I sent (verbatim):
"Yes!! I found out how to change the font color for replying emails! The default font color is blue when you reply to an email, but mine is now black.
Muaha! Oh, if technology was a beast I would be the hunter it fears.
How is everyone doing today? Good weekends, I trust?
~Steph"
His response:
"Congrats in your epic quest. May all inboxes from henceforth fear the name Stephanie Rosemeyer, for she shall smite them whenever she crosses their decrepit existences. Forevermore, on this day, computers across the land will weep and gnash their teeth in the ancient computer tongue of binary, for on this day, their sins were exposed.
Blessings on you and your household,
[5.0]"
Like his other email, I wasn't sure if I should reply back with some ghetto verbiage (which I am quite fluent in), or consult some Shakespeare and make a sonnet!!
Maybe this is my favorite one...
My email:
"Hi, [5.0] :)
If you’re interested, Amy and I will meet in the caf today around 12:45 for a round of Phase 10 and you’re more than welcome to join us.
Also, I wanted to apologize for not saying hi today in chapel. I didn’t realize you were sitting near me until I glanced over and by then it was too late. I’m not very good at the “late hello” thing.
Anyway, hope to see you at lunch!
~Stephanie"
His reply:
"Sounds good. I must also implore your pardons for the lack of salutations. I was almost certain of your identity as a fellow intern, and thus sat close by. However, as we have already established, greetings were not exchanged. The guilt is just as great upon my own brow. Let us, with great haste, put this conundrum out of our minds.
See you at 12:45 for great feasting and phasing,
[5.0]"
I am sad to say, though, his recent emails have been much more conversational and I intend to ask him why he doesn't put forth any efforts to his emails anymore! Hahahahahaha
Yes...this is what I get paid to do every day. It's a shame I don't blog more often during work...
"What's your favorite feature of your body?"
*insert crickets chirping*
Normally, the first answer would be my hair. However, my hair and I have been at odds lately. Sometimes I like how the long waves tumble down my back, the curls being ever so slightly mussled and unruly. Other times, I wish the dry corpse excuse of hair would take its amber waves that look like grain and hit the road! I seek soft, loose hair that is my natural color.
Note to self: don't let friends dye your hair anymore.
When I got a haircut before coming out here to Illinois (say that with a French accent...much more fun), I couldn't get over how ama-za-zing my hair felt. It was the perfect silky smooth texture I have been craving, and I'm really not sure if it is the straightener my stylist used or the product. So, I'll have to surrender more money to have her do my hair again and buy everything she uses on me. Next time though, I'll ask her to not straighten my hair. I'm sure that'll save me some product, and I don't ever straighten my hair. Talk about time consuming!
I'm big on saving time, actually. I also have a knack for wasting it. I don't know anyone who would dispute this fact.
Changing subjects, just because I got an email that reminded me of it...
There is another intern here (call him 5.0) who cracks me up. Not so much lately, but when I first emailed him, I couldn't stop laughing. 5.0 is a self-proclaimed poet--stop snickering, it gets better. I would email him the most mundane things for the sole purpose of seeing how ridiculous his response would be.
Did you know I do things for a reaction? That is truly my only hidden agenda, and now it's not even hidden. I love reactions and the element of surprise.
So anyway, I would sent out an email to invite the 'terns for a round of Phase 10 because that's the only game I brought with me, and...there's no better way to bond with strangers than over a semi-competetive game of cards, right? My email was simple:
"Hi, [5.0] :)
I hope you’re adjusting well to your job!
Mondays seem to be Phase 10 day for interns at lunch, so would you like to join us today at 1:00 in the caf?
~Stephanie"
His response:
"As much as I would love to me graced by my fellow interns’ company this afternoon, and engage in grand competition over a midday meal, I do, alas, have a meeting at that time. Hopefully, the fates shall smile down upon me, and I will be able to meet you good people in the very near future."
My response was much less eloquent.
Another time, I sent out an email because...well, this is what I sent (verbatim):
"Yes!! I found out how to change the font color for replying emails! The default font color is blue when you reply to an email, but mine is now black.
Muaha! Oh, if technology was a beast I would be the hunter it fears.
How is everyone doing today? Good weekends, I trust?
~Steph"
His response:
"Congrats in your epic quest. May all inboxes from henceforth fear the name Stephanie Rosemeyer, for she shall smite them whenever she crosses their decrepit existences. Forevermore, on this day, computers across the land will weep and gnash their teeth in the ancient computer tongue of binary, for on this day, their sins were exposed.
Blessings on you and your household,
[5.0]"
Like his other email, I wasn't sure if I should reply back with some ghetto verbiage (which I am quite fluent in), or consult some Shakespeare and make a sonnet!!
Maybe this is my favorite one...
My email:
"Hi, [5.0] :)
If you’re interested, Amy and I will meet in the caf today around 12:45 for a round of Phase 10 and you’re more than welcome to join us.
Also, I wanted to apologize for not saying hi today in chapel. I didn’t realize you were sitting near me until I glanced over and by then it was too late. I’m not very good at the “late hello” thing.
Anyway, hope to see you at lunch!
~Stephanie"
His reply:
"Sounds good. I must also implore your pardons for the lack of salutations. I was almost certain of your identity as a fellow intern, and thus sat close by. However, as we have already established, greetings were not exchanged. The guilt is just as great upon my own brow. Let us, with great haste, put this conundrum out of our minds.
See you at 12:45 for great feasting and phasing,
[5.0]"
I am sad to say, though, his recent emails have been much more conversational and I intend to ask him why he doesn't put forth any efforts to his emails anymore! Hahahahahaha
Yes...this is what I get paid to do every day. It's a shame I don't blog more often during work...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
My Best Friend is a Mop
I am really excited right now. My friend from California is coming over to Illinois. She is going to be in Indiana for a month, but we will spend more time together later.
I am so excited to finally see someone I know and love here. It has been so so so SO lonely this past month (plus some) and I am just sad that she told her nephew in Indiana that she would see him on Thursday instead of like, Monday.
But still, I am glad to have someone I hold dear here with me.
I am so excited to finally see someone I know and love here. It has been so so so SO lonely this past month (plus some) and I am just sad that she told her nephew in Indiana that she would see him on Thursday instead of like, Monday.
But still, I am glad to have someone I hold dear here with me.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
If I had two personalities, I would go crazy
Talking to my mom always makes me feel a little better, even though she is one of the most frustrating people in my life. She makes me laugh and I always appreciate a good laugh.
I don't know about you, but I have a lot of internal dialogue. I'm actually not sure if it should be classified dialogue, since what I have more aptly can be defined as debates. Being on a diet that is more of an exercise regieme and "make-food-to-eat-since-there-is-no-meal-plan-in-Illinois" kind of diet, I feel like I am going through the detox stage. I constantly crave sugar.
Ice cream. Cheesecake. Cookies. Carmel. Whipped cream. Ice cream. Chocolate. You know, ALL the sugar-fortified goodness that I am used to treating myself with.
I once heard that it is OK to treat yourself once in a while so that when you crave something, you don't go overboard with it. I agree with this, but I am also trying to be economically wise. Quantity over quality, I suppose. The other week, I got a quart of pecan ice cream and pretty much ate it, to my horror, in two sittings. Granted, they were a few days apart, but when I realized what I had done, I decided to put an end to it.
Since the beginning of this month, I have been working out every night. By "working out", I mean exercising not only my self control but my body. Since the 1st, I have escalated my nocturnal work outs from 30 sit-ups to 100. So, every night, I do 100 crunches and other random exercises that I don't know the name of but they give me a burn so I assume it is effective to some part of my anatomy.
How this relates to the ice cream horror story: I have realized that no matter how much I work out, if I "treat" myself every now and again, it's not a good thing. I need to learn a new way to treat myself other than with food so that I learn a new lifestyle that will be healthy with my new life I am trying to get to.
However, I am also poor.
I have too many financially-dependant goals. Want to see them?
1. Pay off credit card bills (who doesn't have this goal?)
2. Pay insurance
3. Pay rent
4. Save money for a down payment on a new car for next year
I guess #1-3 aren't really goals as much as "fixed expenditures", but I like to think of them as obstacles to get to goal #4. Personal goals are as follows:
1. Escalate workouts over the summer to reach 300 crunches per day
2. Make healthy food choices by creating a two-week menu
3. Save $70/month for emergency fund
4.
You know, I have always functioned well with to-do lists. As unfocused as I am, I am going to make one for the next month.
I don't know about you, but I have a lot of internal dialogue. I'm actually not sure if it should be classified dialogue, since what I have more aptly can be defined as debates. Being on a diet that is more of an exercise regieme and "make-food-to-eat-since-there-is-no-meal-plan-in-Illinois" kind of diet, I feel like I am going through the detox stage. I constantly crave sugar.
Ice cream. Cheesecake. Cookies. Carmel. Whipped cream. Ice cream. Chocolate. You know, ALL the sugar-fortified goodness that I am used to treating myself with.
I once heard that it is OK to treat yourself once in a while so that when you crave something, you don't go overboard with it. I agree with this, but I am also trying to be economically wise. Quantity over quality, I suppose. The other week, I got a quart of pecan ice cream and pretty much ate it, to my horror, in two sittings. Granted, they were a few days apart, but when I realized what I had done, I decided to put an end to it.
Since the beginning of this month, I have been working out every night. By "working out", I mean exercising not only my self control but my body. Since the 1st, I have escalated my nocturnal work outs from 30 sit-ups to 100. So, every night, I do 100 crunches and other random exercises that I don't know the name of but they give me a burn so I assume it is effective to some part of my anatomy.
How this relates to the ice cream horror story: I have realized that no matter how much I work out, if I "treat" myself every now and again, it's not a good thing. I need to learn a new way to treat myself other than with food so that I learn a new lifestyle that will be healthy with my new life I am trying to get to.
However, I am also poor.
I have too many financially-dependant goals. Want to see them?
1. Pay off credit card bills (who doesn't have this goal?)
2. Pay insurance
3. Pay rent
4. Save money for a down payment on a new car for next year
I guess #1-3 aren't really goals as much as "fixed expenditures", but I like to think of them as obstacles to get to goal #4. Personal goals are as follows:
1. Escalate workouts over the summer to reach 300 crunches per day
2. Make healthy food choices by creating a two-week menu
3. Save $70/month for emergency fund
4.
You know, I have always functioned well with to-do lists. As unfocused as I am, I am going to make one for the next month.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Wet Nails Make Typing Hard
I can't believe I missed making a post for April!!
That is not what I came on to write about though. I have recently applied for an internship and I am torn between wanting it to my capacity of wanting things and sabotaging my chances of getting it so that I can do other, equally important things. I know God knows best, so I am letting Him deal with it.
The issue I have is that I am exactly 50% sure I do not want this opportunity because then I won't have to stay in school an extra semester because I would be able to take summer classes, working two jobs to make tons of money, live with people I know and love, and exercise. Then I am 50% sure that I do want this internship so that I can learn everything I can about advertising and promotions but then I worry about paying rent, not doing any summer school, and being away from home for two-ish months. That last one is sort of the least of my worries, but then I also hope that I have deny the internship due to housing issues so I can blame my dad for stealing my chances of having it instead of feeling totally fine about it.
Enough of that.
I really dislike my friend right now. I am pissed off at her and I always plan to tell her so many things about how unhappy I am with her, but when I am around her, I am just glad to finally hang out with her that I don't want to ruin it by discussing issues with her that could either destroy or build our friendship up more. I am upset at her for never calling me because I feel like that reflects how she feels about me. I understand that our schedules conflict, but I call her 100% more than she calls me. I call at least three times a week and I always get the voicemail. So, I leave a message. She calls me back two weeks later and gives me a list of excuses why she didn't call me.
I had been planning for three weeks to tell her, "You know, I don't care the reasons why you don't call; I just care that you don't." Last week, I finally said that. She said, "Awww...Steph!"
I was not looking to touch her heart. I was looking for something to say to influence her to call me more because without interaction, I cannot be a person's friend. By her not calling me, I do not feel she values our relationship or me as a human being.
Another thing I wish I could tell her is how much I dislike her "fella." I think he is immature, not ready for what she needs, and fake. I don't care how many times she tells me that "he acts differently around me. You just don't know him like I do" because I think that a person's quality is evident no matter what or who is surrounding the person. When I watch them together, I think he loves her, but not compared to how she loves him. He can't even hold a candle to how much she loves and adores him.
Her whole world revolves around him, which I feel is another problem with their relationship. When I watch them together, she bends her life to his will and whim while he doesn't seem to give a hoot about how she feels or what she does. She is always prompt to meet him, waits for him to get home from work, and waits on him hand and foot while he works at Starbucks and goes to school to get a degree in business (probably the stupidest degree ever) so that he can be a manager in a company that has a high turnover rate. Not only is his only aspiration to be a manager in a company he hates, but she went to a store and was offered an assistant managing position with no degree at all. This is just one example of how different their work ethic is, which is a big deal considering who she is and how she feels about people who don't work hard.
She far outshines him not only in her ability to work at the kind of level it takes to move up in a company, but he doesn't seem to appreciate her. From all I have seen, the only way he expresses his love to her is to work on her house (yes, she even has a house). She is thrilled by this, but I don't think she understands that her house is an object. Working on her house is not the same as loving her the way she needs to be loved. I mean, at the end of the day, a house is a house, and it doesn't make her feel any better about herself. She needs a man who tells her constantly how beautiful she is, stands up for her to his and her family, and compliments her heart.
Since she has begun to date this guy, she has plummeted in how she takes care of herself. It's that whole "equal yoke" thing but in this way, it is the looks department and if you don't think looks are important, then stop reading now. Sure, they are not the sole reason to love someone, but they sure as hell depict to the rest of the world how you feel about yourself. Before she dated him, she would primp herself, accessorize, put on makeup, and just doll herself up because it made herself feel good and she liked to do it. Since she began dating that frumpy, unmotivated bum she has turned into a frumpy lady who hates it. She tells me things like "I don't feel good about myself" and "I just don't have time to take care of myself the way I used to!"
Perhaps leading your own life the way the guy you are so attached does would enable you to take care of yourself the way you used to, since he doesn't seem to care enough about you to make it easy for you to maintain the lifestyle you used to have! And that is how I feel. He lives his own life because he knows she can and will provide for him and he floats around life depending on her.
It is a twisted relationship and I am sick of it. I want someone for her who will let her relax, build up her self-esteem, and give her freedom to do what she wants while he provides a life for her, the way it should be. The reason I say all of this is because I see this happening the way it happened with my brother.
My friend is paying off debt like none other, working two jobs to pay her mortgage and new car payment, which is fine because she bought it all and she needs to pay her bills. But he is doing nothing to help. If he wanted to help, he would get a second job even if he is in school. My mom works three jobs and goes to school, so I don't see why he can't do the same. At the very least, he could get a degree in something that will actually make him money, or to get a career that is easy to advance in. A Business degree is like having a pen because it is easy to get and it just means you are capable of leading people in one direction. I know this because I used to be a Business major. It is so pointless.
Anyway, about my brother--he paid the bills and everything while his girlfriend went to culinary arts school (oh my gosh, another pointless degree, like business!) and their agreement was that they would switch spots while he went to film school. Three years later, she is working in a buffet, they have a kid, and filming is a hobby he sometimes exercises by filming his daughter.
Maybe I am disillusioned from reading romance books when I think that people are quite capable of fulfilling their dreams, but I do not care. I am fulfilling mine, so that entitles me to believe it.
I want to tell her to get her head out of her fella's ass and live her own life. I want her to be happy with herself without him because he doesn't build up her self-esteem. I want her to admit to me that this whole phase in her life where she is dissatisfied with everything is just a phase that she is over. I want her to love herself because she is lovable, not because someone periodically tells her she is loved. I want her to see my point of view and not make excuses for everything I see and just respect my point of view because I cannot help expressing my observances. I want her to consider what I have to say and think about it and see if I have any good points and act on them. I want her to quit waiting around for her guy to become the man she needs because I don't think he cares to do that anytime soon.
That is not what I came on to write about though. I have recently applied for an internship and I am torn between wanting it to my capacity of wanting things and sabotaging my chances of getting it so that I can do other, equally important things. I know God knows best, so I am letting Him deal with it.
The issue I have is that I am exactly 50% sure I do not want this opportunity because then I won't have to stay in school an extra semester because I would be able to take summer classes, working two jobs to make tons of money, live with people I know and love, and exercise. Then I am 50% sure that I do want this internship so that I can learn everything I can about advertising and promotions but then I worry about paying rent, not doing any summer school, and being away from home for two-ish months. That last one is sort of the least of my worries, but then I also hope that I have deny the internship due to housing issues so I can blame my dad for stealing my chances of having it instead of feeling totally fine about it.
Enough of that.
I really dislike my friend right now. I am pissed off at her and I always plan to tell her so many things about how unhappy I am with her, but when I am around her, I am just glad to finally hang out with her that I don't want to ruin it by discussing issues with her that could either destroy or build our friendship up more. I am upset at her for never calling me because I feel like that reflects how she feels about me. I understand that our schedules conflict, but I call her 100% more than she calls me. I call at least three times a week and I always get the voicemail. So, I leave a message. She calls me back two weeks later and gives me a list of excuses why she didn't call me.
I had been planning for three weeks to tell her, "You know, I don't care the reasons why you don't call; I just care that you don't." Last week, I finally said that. She said, "Awww...Steph!"
I was not looking to touch her heart. I was looking for something to say to influence her to call me more because without interaction, I cannot be a person's friend. By her not calling me, I do not feel she values our relationship or me as a human being.
Another thing I wish I could tell her is how much I dislike her "fella." I think he is immature, not ready for what she needs, and fake. I don't care how many times she tells me that "he acts differently around me. You just don't know him like I do" because I think that a person's quality is evident no matter what or who is surrounding the person. When I watch them together, I think he loves her, but not compared to how she loves him. He can't even hold a candle to how much she loves and adores him.
Her whole world revolves around him, which I feel is another problem with their relationship. When I watch them together, she bends her life to his will and whim while he doesn't seem to give a hoot about how she feels or what she does. She is always prompt to meet him, waits for him to get home from work, and waits on him hand and foot while he works at Starbucks and goes to school to get a degree in business (probably the stupidest degree ever) so that he can be a manager in a company that has a high turnover rate. Not only is his only aspiration to be a manager in a company he hates, but she went to a store and was offered an assistant managing position with no degree at all. This is just one example of how different their work ethic is, which is a big deal considering who she is and how she feels about people who don't work hard.
She far outshines him not only in her ability to work at the kind of level it takes to move up in a company, but he doesn't seem to appreciate her. From all I have seen, the only way he expresses his love to her is to work on her house (yes, she even has a house). She is thrilled by this, but I don't think she understands that her house is an object. Working on her house is not the same as loving her the way she needs to be loved. I mean, at the end of the day, a house is a house, and it doesn't make her feel any better about herself. She needs a man who tells her constantly how beautiful she is, stands up for her to his and her family, and compliments her heart.
Since she has begun to date this guy, she has plummeted in how she takes care of herself. It's that whole "equal yoke" thing but in this way, it is the looks department and if you don't think looks are important, then stop reading now. Sure, they are not the sole reason to love someone, but they sure as hell depict to the rest of the world how you feel about yourself. Before she dated him, she would primp herself, accessorize, put on makeup, and just doll herself up because it made herself feel good and she liked to do it. Since she began dating that frumpy, unmotivated bum she has turned into a frumpy lady who hates it. She tells me things like "I don't feel good about myself" and "I just don't have time to take care of myself the way I used to!"
Perhaps leading your own life the way the guy you are so attached does would enable you to take care of yourself the way you used to, since he doesn't seem to care enough about you to make it easy for you to maintain the lifestyle you used to have! And that is how I feel. He lives his own life because he knows she can and will provide for him and he floats around life depending on her.
It is a twisted relationship and I am sick of it. I want someone for her who will let her relax, build up her self-esteem, and give her freedom to do what she wants while he provides a life for her, the way it should be. The reason I say all of this is because I see this happening the way it happened with my brother.
My friend is paying off debt like none other, working two jobs to pay her mortgage and new car payment, which is fine because she bought it all and she needs to pay her bills. But he is doing nothing to help. If he wanted to help, he would get a second job even if he is in school. My mom works three jobs and goes to school, so I don't see why he can't do the same. At the very least, he could get a degree in something that will actually make him money, or to get a career that is easy to advance in. A Business degree is like having a pen because it is easy to get and it just means you are capable of leading people in one direction. I know this because I used to be a Business major. It is so pointless.
Anyway, about my brother--he paid the bills and everything while his girlfriend went to culinary arts school (oh my gosh, another pointless degree, like business!) and their agreement was that they would switch spots while he went to film school. Three years later, she is working in a buffet, they have a kid, and filming is a hobby he sometimes exercises by filming his daughter.
Maybe I am disillusioned from reading romance books when I think that people are quite capable of fulfilling their dreams, but I do not care. I am fulfilling mine, so that entitles me to believe it.
I want to tell her to get her head out of her fella's ass and live her own life. I want her to be happy with herself without him because he doesn't build up her self-esteem. I want her to admit to me that this whole phase in her life where she is dissatisfied with everything is just a phase that she is over. I want her to love herself because she is lovable, not because someone periodically tells her she is loved. I want her to see my point of view and not make excuses for everything I see and just respect my point of view because I cannot help expressing my observances. I want her to consider what I have to say and think about it and see if I have any good points and act on them. I want her to quit waiting around for her guy to become the man she needs because I don't think he cares to do that anytime soon.
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