Thursday, October 16, 2008

Uno Dose Trace

*insert Marge Simpson grunt noise here*

I have a couple issues to rant about tonight.
1. boys
2. professors
3. writing

Why is the world full of so many boys? Please note, I am saying boys, not men. There is a huge difference between these two. Boys are the people Vanguard is chock full of--the people who will park next to a lady getting a pack of 35 bottles of water from her car and not offer to help carry it across the parking lot, even though they have a class together and he's wearing a suit like he just got back from church.

I'm talking about boys who will wait for a lady to open the Heath doors instead of stepping forward and making a gesture. I'm talking about the boys who will ignore the solitary girl on the floor of chapel and not offer her his seat. I'm talking about the boys who never got a speech from their fathers on what it is to be a man. I'm talking about the boys who chuck a piece of paper across the aisle instead of handing it to a lady. I'm talking about boys who think they are men simply because their balls have dropped.

Guys are entirely different animals altogether. They are on the way to becoming men, but they are not quite there. They see a lady carrying water across the parking lot and if she is cute enough, he'll offer to help. They open the door and walk through, but do the weird backward door-holding thing that says "catch this". They see ladies sitting on the floor in chapel and ask their buddies if they can all scoot over and then stop looking her way when there isn't room. Unless she's cute--there's always room for the cute ladies. They will pass a paper to a lady but it wouldn't be beyond them to chuck it and laughingly pick it up, either. They have heard the speech about what it is to be a man, but not the full version. Their balls have dropped, and with them their eyes and IQ.

Men, where are you in my life?

I never thought I would live to see the day when a professor asked me to get coffee before one of my male peers did. I thought the beat of my sorry excuse of a biological clock I have ticking its outrageous mating call would work before this happened. I've been in school for almost four years and I had yet to be asked for coffee to talk about something by either a professor or male peer, and yesterday, it happened. Via email. My professor proposed a coffee chat time to talk about theology. Not only have I been asked to get coffee by a professor, but it isn't even a professor in my major. It isn't even about a topic I am altogether passionate about.

Thankfully, it is a male professor and maybe I can get in some practice before I "really" get asked to get coffee and talk about anything.

On another professor note, I wish I had taken advantage of working in the Writing Center and spending about the same amount of time in the English department that the English professors do. The professors crack me up, and I wish I had spent time talking to them over the last four years instead of being all ... well, whatever I was Freshman and Sophomore year. It makes me want to go to Grad school and act the way I should have here in college.

And yes, Professor A is really cute and encouraging, and even though I'm not writing this blog on my bed, belly-down with pillow and fists under my cheek, kicking my legs and giggling, I sort of got butterflies when he portrayed that pseudo-image of me. You think I would be that adorable blogging?? I wanted to ask.

I need to write 20 pages. I have this (stupid) story that I have to write twenty pages of by Friday/Saturday and I haven't been working on it. I intended to do some of it today--tonight. I was going to pull an all-nighter and stay up at my favorite coffee place and write away. Until they kicked me out, anyway. I really planned on it. But then I began writing down my to-do list and thought, hey, I'll do some reading instead... and then we ran out of toilet paper and I was like, might as well get some water, too... Then I got back and was really upset so I blogged about it.

Now it's almost 11:00 and I wanted to be in bed by now, which is what I decided when I re-evaluated my plan, and everything is falling apart tonight.



Dream of Spring said...

cheer up friend! hey, we need to hang out more!
Prof. A is adorable. I got the cold sweats trying so hard not to be obvious!

and you're hilarious by the way, that image of you blogging, getting in a pillow fight with yourself! haha!

ConglomerateBeauty said...

You have no idea how much I want to write a song about pillow fights with myself. I even started thinking of the chorus when I was washing my hair last night.


But I'm totally going to write it. Watch.

And yeah, let's hang out more! What do you want to do?