Today, I think I learned something about myself. I may be a stress eater. I have so much on my plate with Synecdoche, Sigma Tau Delta, Spanish, my six classes, trying to write a 50 paged manuscript (ok, so seven classes), wanting to lose weight by going to the gym, stressing out about my finances (my goal is to pay off my credit card before graduation), working, and staying in touch with my friends and family. I love being this busy because I want to be on the move, but I find myself doing very, very poorly with my diet.
I go into the caf (sorry, Hannah--the Bon) and intend to have something good and healthy--a salad with some meat stuffs in it, or something like that. Then I see that there is the open burrito/taco bar and I make myself a burrito bowl much unlike one from Chipotle. The Spanish rice, refried beans, shredded lettuce, salsa, and little dollop of sour cream, followed by a spoon of chicken or other meat is something I love to eat with tortilla chips, or even pita chips.
When I am putting the food in my to-go box, I say that I deserve something tasty because it's lunch and if I eat something unhealthy early in the day, then it's more likely to get burned off. Then I get food for dinner, and it's another bad choice with minimal veggies, max carbs, I'm sure. It's a lot of bread, and even though it is whole wheat, I need to revert back to my healthy eating days.
The little mantra I used to tell myself was that I've been treating myself to nice little "somethings" my whole life--I can go without. Well, lately, with everything going on, I've done nothing good for myself. I'm not going to tell you how many sweets I've stuffed in my body because...well, here's my Sunday Fitness update:
Weight: 215.6
Fattyfattyfattyfatty.
Hmm. I don't know what to do. I should take up smoking instead. I need a new occupation that I like better than food that is free.
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